Cold waffles and God
It is Sunday morning and I just got off the phone with my brother. I talked God and religon on the phone with my brother as I sat and picked at my kids leftover waffles. It was like a very lazy church service in pajamas.My brother, sister and I were raised in the south, Baptist of course. Nuff said. Lots of dogma, bible thumping, and uh...casseoroles. I appreciate my parents efforts, they took religion and my salvation seriously. But as an adult I have never been able to reconcile a lot of the doctrine I was spoon fed. My brother and I were just no born with the psyche that can accept faith and religon at face value. We cannot believe without seriously questioning why we believe. Instead we wrestle with issues. I think we are just wired to hammer out issues so we can then understand and thus own them. Im not saying I need to know all my answers before I go to church. Faith is all about accepting what you don't know. Im just the type that is drug into a belief system kicking, screaming, and doubting. Then, after exhausting myself with my own tantrum, I give in. My heart softens. My brother and I do not accept a literal translation of the bible. Uh huh I know. This is a huge controversy amongst a lot of Christians. Not for me. God does not fit in a box. You are seriously limiting the alpha and the omega if you think he doesnt work in ways unbeknowst to us. The bible is a collection of letters that Paul wrote to start the early church, allegories, laws, eye witness accounts of Jesus. It is all we have. The Church was founded on this resource. What it is for the individual is different. At this point in my life the bible fills me with encouragement and steadys alot of my scattered thoughts. I pray way more than I read it. I won't get in a debate with any one with adam and eve and revelations. I could'nt care less. Call that picking and choosing but you know I dont care right now. This is what I feel is right and I had been told for way too many years what to believe. So for me, right now this is doable. This does not stir up doubt and that is good for me right now. I just dont think God minds if I just meet him where I'm at. My brother said he used to pray he could just believe like the Sunday Christians do without having to research and intellectualize everything. But you know God did not answer his prayer. God uses everybody whether their butt is in churh pew or not. God is bigger than church and bigger than the box we put him in sometimes.